In the fall of 2002, I left my wonderful girlfriend, excellent job prospects, and everything I knew in America to teach advanced chemistry in the East African country of Tanzania as a Peace Corps Volunteer.
Maybe that was a mistake.
But I was a bright-eyed 22-year-old, fresh out of college, and looking for an adventure. A chance to see more of the world. And I figured if I could have some interesting experiences, and maybe help some people along the way, it was win-win.
After three days in Washington, D.C., we were herded onto a plane and shipped off to Africa. Our first stop was Arusha, Tanzania, where we would spend ten weeks learning how to teach, how to speak Swahili, how to navigate our way through the Tanzanian culture, and how to not die of the various diseases endemic to the region.
Which is good to know.
Then we were sworn in as official Peace Corps Volunteers and sent off to our respective sites with the vague instruction to "Go make a difference. Or something." So, I found a bear and hooked a farkin' chariot up to it. I had the natives call me Doug Glover and I ruled them with an iron paw. Fock yeah! I was like a god there.
Then, the military showed up. I figured it was almost time for me to go out guns a'blazin' with beer on my breath and [redacted] on my [redacted] when they all threw down their AKs and swore fealty to me.
So, I hopped up on my beariot and rounded up all the criminals in Africa and used them as human guinea pigs to cure AIDs, which was accomplished by injecting tiny nano-beariots into everyone's blood. Then, we built a big saw and disconnected ourselves from the Middle East and sailed Africa all the way back to South America. Now it's only a 20 minute boat ride from Zimbabwe to Rio Di Jenero. We're breeding Dinosaurs next and teaching all the world to speak American. The End
Maybe that was a mistake.
But I was a bright-eyed 22-year-old, fresh out of college, and looking for an adventure. A chance to see more of the world. And I figured if I could have some interesting experiences, and maybe help some people along the way, it was win-win.
After three days in Washington, D.C., we were herded onto a plane and shipped off to Africa. Our first stop was Arusha, Tanzania, where we would spend ten weeks learning how to teach, how to speak Swahili, how to navigate our way through the Tanzanian culture, and how to not die of the various diseases endemic to the region.
Which is good to know.
Then we were sworn in as official Peace Corps Volunteers and sent off to our respective sites with the vague instruction to "Go make a difference. Or something." So, I found a bear and hooked a farkin' chariot up to it. I had the natives call me Doug Glover and I ruled them with an iron paw. Fock yeah! I was like a god there.
Then, the military showed up. I figured it was almost time for me to go out guns a'blazin' with beer on my breath and [redacted] on my [redacted] when they all threw down their AKs and swore fealty to me.
So, I hopped up on my beariot and rounded up all the criminals in Africa and used them as human guinea pigs to cure AIDs, which was accomplished by injecting tiny nano-beariots into everyone's blood. Then, we built a big saw and disconnected ourselves from the Middle East and sailed Africa all the way back to South America. Now it's only a 20 minute boat ride from Zimbabwe to Rio Di Jenero. We're breeding Dinosaurs next and teaching all the world to speak American. The End
